eatsleepwushu's Xanga

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 20:41:21 GMT

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked.

His response was a question. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know," Alice answered.

"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

- Lewis Carroll

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:13:26 GMT

Dawn of a new era.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 20:04:19 GMT

Change is in the air.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:21:52 GMT

The Giving Tree
by Shel Silverstein

Once there was a tree..... and she loved a little boy. And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves and make them into crowns and play king of the forest. He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples. And they would play hide-and-go-seek. And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade. And the boy loved the tree.......very much. And the tree was happy.

But time went by. And the boy grew older. And the tree was often alone. Then one day the boy came to the tree and the tree said, "Come, Boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy."

"I am too big to climb and play," said the boy. "I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money. Can you give me some money?"

"I'm sorry," said the tree, "but I have no money, I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city. Then you will have money and you will be happy." And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried them away. And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away for a long time... and the tree was sad. And then one day the boy came back and the tree shook with joy and she said, "Come, Boy, climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and be happy."

"I am too busy to climb trees," said the boy. "I want a house to keep me warm. I want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house. Can you give me a house?"

"I have no house," said the tree. "The forest is my house, but you may cut off my branches and build a house. Then you will be happy." And the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his house. And the tree was happy.

But the boy stayed away for a long time. And when he came back, the tree was so happy she could hardly speak. "Come, Boy," she whispered, "Come and play."

“I am too old and sad to play," said the boy. "I want a boat that can take me far away from here. Can you give me a boat?"

"Cut down my trunk and make a boat," said the tree. "Then you can sail away...... and be happy." And so the boy cut down her trunk and made a boat and sailed away. And the tree was happy.... but not really. And after a long time the boy came back again.

"I am sorry, Boy," said the tree, "but I have nothing left to give you. My apples are gone."

"My teeth are too weak for apples," said the boy.

"My branches are gone," said the tree. "You cannot swing on them.”

"I am too old to swing on branches," said the boy.

"My trunk is gone," said the tree. "You cannot climb."

"I am too tired to climb," said the boy.

"I am sorry," sighed the tree. "I wish that I could give you something------ but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump."

"I don't need very much now," said the boy. "just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired."

"Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could, "Well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest." And the boy did. And the tree was happy.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 16:26:42 GMT

Christmas in the House of Kwan:

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you guys have a safe and happy holiday.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 04:53:02 GMT

Had a ton of fun this weekend but I'm definitely paying a price for it. I was actually good on Sunday night and went to bed at a decent hour, but come morning I still felt run down and beat up. I didn't have too much of a chance to rest these past couple of days, and I'm beginning to realize that between work and wushu I don't have time for much else unless I'm extremely disciplined. Wushu of course has been taking its usual toll in the form of aching back, knees, and ankles, but in addition during lion dance I took some hard hits when we tried some tumbling - nothing that really hurt me but definitely got the breath knocked out of me a couple of times and my tailbone isn't thanking me. Paintball on Sunday was crazy fun despite the rain and mud but it was still three hours of running, crouching, and crawling through the woods in the cold and wet before a couple more hours of wushu later that night. Add that to a couple of hours of walking around various buildings every day of the work week while running on too little sleep and my body is shutting down against its will. Gotta soldier on.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 18:27:08 GMT

So lately it has come to my attention that I don't update my xanga as much any more. I guess there are several reasons for this, mostly because I don't think people would be very interested in the mundane minutia of my life, and in addition to being a relatively private person I am also mad lazy. Anyone who is familiar with my life knows that it's pretty much taken up by job hunting in the day and wushu at night. Still, I guess it couldn't hurt to post a general update once in a while.

I was looking through my old xanga entries just for nostalgia's sake and man, I sound so young. Or maybe now I just feel old. As much as I tease people about being wushu dorks, back in the day I was all about wushu, lion dance, and wing chun and not much else, except for the occasional all-night paper-writing. It really surprised me, looking on my old self. I was so excited and passionate about that kind of stuff and even though I still love them now, I can't seem to recapture the way it used to be. I didn't even remember that's how it was until I looked way back. I think the stress of running the club kind of burned away the passion for me, and I was never able to regain it after that. I suppose in a way it's for the best - my whole life used to revolve around wushu (although some could argue it still does) and it's probably healthier that I'm not as obsessive about it now.

The job hunt is going slowly but surely, in fitful bursts depending on my levels of motivation from day to day. Trust me kiddies, although being jobless sounds like paradise to you working people, it's really not. There's no one to play with since everyone is working or at school, you're always bored, not to mention you're a huge bum with no income and a non-contributing member of society. On the upside, I've had several interviews so far so hopefully more are coming my way in the future. I regret not taking advantage of the college career center when I had the chance, as every step of the job search process is a learning experience, but c'est la vie. Many thanks to friends and family who have given their invaluable input on my humble resume.

The wushu is not going quite as successfully. I feel like I've been running headlong into a brick wall for the past three years, but I still love nanquan and every day I feel more comfortable with it, even though I still have a ways to go. At the very least I'm slowly getting back into shape after nearly a year of little to no training. Getting back into wushu gave me a purpose again after coming back from California, a focus, and I will always be grateful that it has been a solace to me when nothing else was.
Other recent highlights include:

Paintballing with Mok and crew last weekend. I gotta give props to Mok for finally haranguing me to go. I turned him down twice before due to wushu and the entire week preceding this game he bugged me every day about going. I was on the fence until the last minute but I finally dragged myself out there and had myself a pretty good time. The place was about an hour away, past JBJ's, and I had to go down some crazy-ass unpaved potholey roads that I swear I left parts of my car behind on. When I finally got there I was pretty intimidated because everyone looked way hardcore, decked out in paintball jerseys or full-camo gear with their own customized guns, and the only girls I saw were really young, playing in big groups of kids their age. The staff had a pretty disorganized way of running things, so it was a rough start, but once we started playing it wasn't hard to get the hang of it. I was pretty timid, as were all the other newbs, but I managed to take out several people over the course of the morning and I usually managed to last the majority of the game. I got hit all over, and once in the face, but although it stung it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would, although granted the shots were from pretty far away. Next time I'll have to be more adventurous and break cover more often :P, otherwise it just gets boring. We played multiple rounds of woodsball all morning until they broke for lunch. Walk-ons can play all day but by then I was starving, plus I still had wushu later in the day. By the time I got home I was exhausted from lack of sleep and three hours of running, crawling, and crouching, and so gloriously covered in paint and mud that my mom wouldn't let me in the house, hahaha.
Pumpking carving with the fats, an annual tradition that we did ourselves this year (before it was always Dad Duty but this time he was too sleepy)! It's actually harder than I thought. Instead of carving it's more like a sequential stabbing... We modeled it after Jack Skellington from 'A Nightmare Before Christmas', one of my favorite movies ever. We had plans to dress up for Halloween too but I was laid low by some mysterious bug and spent most of it feeling sick as a dog :P. Thankfully we have tons of candy left to make me feel better, and we're still planning on making those peanut butter chip cookies!

Rosa's Going-Away Not-So-Surprise Party (good luck and have fun girlee!), wherein I ate the worst I have in months and reaffirmed my love for the Transformers. It seems like everyone is off traveling the world and pursuing their life goals. While Cali made me loathe to move anywhere again for a long time, I'm half-tempted to do the same myself. Thanks to Andy for hosting and organizing the whole thing.
Weddings weddings weddings. Why is everyone I know getting married?? O_O
Fatty's multiple birthday celebrations, wherein there was much eating and a lot of drinking on the part of certain parties which will not be named...

Recently I've found myself at a place in my life I never expected to be. I'm not quite sure where to go from here or what to do and it's scary and more than a little lonely. I just want to be happy again, but I feel like I've been looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I wish a lot of things were different, but mainly I wish things were the way they used to be.

It's been a long year.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 02:39:26 GMT

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival, for those of you who celebrate it. We usually light paper lanterns and eat taro, fruit and moon cakes outside under the moon but this year we're waiting until the family's together again to do it. The moon was beautiful tonight though - full and bright enough to cast shadows from the trees. The sky was cloudless and full of stars and the night air cool and still. Kind of makes me want to go out for a drive. More random thoughts:

My parents used to complain that I was working out too much in college (back during my peak :P), but now that I don't as much they're worried that I'm too skinny and that I've dropped too much weight. That I've lost weight is true, but I still weigh more than I did before I started wushu, so I guess in the long run I'm still ahead...
According to this book of dreams I was flipping through the other day, adults average about 2 nightmares a year. I average about two nightmares a week. Sometimes two per night. In addition they said if you have continuous nightmares you should seek therapy. I wonder if that means I'm crazy?
And now, for another installment of 'Reasons Why I Love My Family':

Reason #9034:

Dad: Mom told me you took the bookcase from the basement all the way to your room by yourself?
Me: Haha, yeah. It was hard.
Dad: What are you? Xena?

Reason #821:

Mom: Where did she get this cake?
Me: Shilla's.
Dad: Oh, Phillip's?
Me: No, Shilla's.
Mom: Willis?
Me: ...

Reason #72:
Scene: Mom has just come back from a trip to Beijing and has brought us a multitude of clothes and handbags. Syl has already chosen one bag (or two, or three) for herself.
Mom: You're not going to let Teeny choose?
Syl: Mom, since when have you ever seen Teeny carry a handbag? Never ever. This is my thing. That's like bringing back a bunch of weapons and asking me to choose first instead of her.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:41:13 GMT

Has it really been six years already?

Friday, July 20, 2007

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 05:07:35 GMT

A long-distance relationship combines the worst parts of being in a relationship with the worst parts of being single.